i am a nurse, writer and old soul in a young body. i love life though i seem to wander the world of make-believe on many occasions. i love people though i find socialization daunting. i'm quiet but can be talkative depending on company.Ask me anything
irony.. i love it.
in 2012, obama had a one-word slogan for his presidential campaign. the word itself wasn’t all that intriguing. it was the punctuation mark that got so much buzz.
that was it. forward. period. does that sound right to you? wouldn’t it be more appropriate to use an exclamation point instead? the argument continued until finally by the end of the campaign new slogans were printed with a different punctuation mark.
forward. that’s irony. it calls for movement then cuts off quite stiffly with a period.
recently, i found myself doing my own version of this forward-period-full stop event. i was there, ready to go, pumped up and excited.. then i ended with a period instead of an exclamation mark. full stop. and now where do i find myself going? apparently, NOT forward. full stop. ironic.
i don’t know who you are. so it is quite strange that i feel this pull towards you, to share in your life and want you to share in mine. this series of letters is not contrived. i assure you i just really feel the urge to write to you. and if i do not do it then i will spend the rest of the day writing out letters in my head like a lunatic. that sounds creepy, i know, but it is quite innocent. read on and you might just see that for yourself.
i’m reading a book now on vulnerable populations in the United States. it is meant to say those groups who are at higher risk of getting poor health. we have a lot of those in the Philippines don’t we?
there is a feeling of guilt sometimes about me being here helping people who have enough help afforded to them. they have good health care, accessible, free even. yet many take it for granted. they still get sick. they can’t take care of themselves. they lavish in the free social services their country provides and they do not improve their lives because of it. whereas, i think of our country and how many need help not just medically but socially and i just feel guilty. i should be at home helping my countrymen, then i think of my family and all the utangs and the bills and the meager savings in the bank that aren’t enough to cover an emergency hospitalization or check-up or laboratory test. this isn’t where i want to be but it is where i need to be.
i know that many people feel the same way i do about being abroad. i wonder how you feel about it. it’s better if you have someone with you though. it’s different. because your family is there. it doesn’t matter if it’s your closest friend or your boyfriend/girlfriend or your husband and kids. having anyone you have close ties with makes a big difference. that’s family, that’s home. and you have them with you in this strange country, with strange customs and crazy weather. the place has a different smell and different colors. it moves differently, flows differently.
no one realizes how much you get used to when moving away from your own country or culture until they actually do it themselves.
still, i am happy. in a world of six billion people i have gotten closer to only a few. i have known of many others. i now know of you and you make me curious, make me wonder, make me smile. that’s a good thing. and i do not wish to impose my existence on you. knowing you know i exist is enough. knowing you exist makes me incredibly glad. it can sometimes be a sad and bleak world, you know, and knowing you exist out there somewhere doing your thing, living your life, makes me kinda glad to be living in the same world. we are connected you know. as one human to another, who see the same stars and feel the same sun, who speak the same language and feel the same emotions. we are connected. and in that way, i don’t mind so much that you forget that i exist or don’t want to be friends or don’t want to get to know me. knowing you are there and i am here and we exist in the same plane of existence is enough.